aeroport_art: (glowy)
[personal profile] aeroport_art
Title: Hello, Operator
Characters:
Sam/Dean
Author:
[livejournal.com profile] aeroport_art   
Rating: PG-13
Warnings:
None
Word Count:
619
Disclaimer:
Not mine, no money being made.
Notes:
It might not look it, but every word, punctuation, and indent actually serves a purpose in this (the formatting took longer than the actual writing, I swear :P). Tip #1: Remember the Miss Susie rhyme? This works kinda like that, the lines hooking onto each other to make one big tapestry. Tip #2: Read it aloud and take your time. Might have to read it a couple times. If you guys can actually stay with me on this, I'll love you forever :D More notes at the end. Feedback = ♥.
Summary:
Miss Susie (and her steamboat) approves of Wincest.

 



Evening.

Some day, the weekend.

Sam and Dean sit on Missouri’s porch, drinking lemonade.

It’s hot outside—Sam takes a long drink as Dean watches, sips at his own, until

Morning,

Another day, another state.

Bright knots of tight muscle that Dean rubs at, incessant.  Waves Sam off but this

Samuel, he’s persistent. Kneads it out when his brother’s too tired

(to argue) and battles the

Coiled sinews beneath his hands.  Sam understands,

the language they speak—this contraction here, when Dean fired too soon,

or this snarl there, when Sam left after noon

(for coffee)

Two sugars in Dean’s with a little cream

and cinnamon.  Licks his lips again,

Speckled dots of spice to entice

(Sam) while outside, the passersby multiply

Into rush hour crowds

Sam avows

to stay

In

Dean’s hands

is a little, grey kitty

Scars and stripes, antiquity

In the blues of its eyes.

Dean speaks of demise, when he holds the kit near

and Sam finally agrees

to keep

under wraps

the thoughts

in his head.

In their stead,

the TRUTH of it is—they’re brothers                       

(not lovers.)

Sam knows dearly

this tyranny.

Dad deals it to Dean, he says it’s for Sam, 

But John never knew (the extent of Sam’s DESTINY)

how inclusive of

Dean,

Sam whispers 

deep into the night.

Dean

(comes into Sam’s bed

on little cats feet)

Brandishing broken bones, and with it goes the troves of Sam’s (awkward)

Limbs in repose.

The color of rose collects in between the

crevices of

Dean’s fingers, that linger,

in the space of

Sam’s stomach in

Sam’s throat.

Sam’s guilt from

Mom’s quilt that she made, back in ’78—for lovers

(not brothers.)

Dean deals it again, he says it’s for John,

But Sam never knew (the extent of Dean’s NORMALCY) ‘cause

it sounds like bullshit to him, sounds like

Bullshit to him,

you bullshit to Dean.

(Touch Sam, you touch Dean.) 

Sam touches himself, wants to

Touch Dean,

and you won’t live to see the

Day,

Some town, yet another state.

A werewolf who won’t know any other fate

Silver through throat, the blade serrate—it’s

GORY, you see, it’s ALL OVER the place

Sam knows that the Blood

will NEVER ABATE and Dean?

His brother, Dean?

 (Just touch me, Sam)

Dean, his brother Dean.

His
(brother)

Dean.

 (Like that, Dean?)

His brother-in-arms,

Soldiered in the sense of the harms they both shoulder-

to-shoulder, sleeping ‘till late

Afternoon,

Name your City and State.

Here’s your platoon, now eat up your steak.

Dean says to him, avoiding Sam’s gaze

On his skin, at the base of his neck,

is a hickey.

Red.

Bred to be seen, two inches above collar because Sam,

Sam’s always been a possessive little fucker.

Dean’s always been an

Evasive

 (Fucker, Sam cries)

Everything dies

They see everything die, behind barrels of guns, sometimes

Under the sun,

they lay out a blanket.

And Sam sleeps

Dreams

Of a different plane where

Dean sings a different refrain, and it

sounds like brothers

(and lovers.)

Sam doesn’t wake.

“Sam!”

doesn't wake.

(Play the tape: A pause. A promise. A pact.

Aren’t we all PLEASED at the fact?)

That Sam, he wakes,

His Dean, he shakes

(shook             hands

for his  soul.)

Sun                  down,

Sam shivering from cold

So. He starts a fire.

(Hell, he is the fire)

Dean’s just the light and so

Sam’s gonna fight

(and win.)

 

--draw the curtain--

 

Behind them

they leave the mileage of Gods

Criss-crossing through highways (and those below and above)

In the car

Sam looks askance

and Dean looks back                                      

(and smiles).

 

In Awhile…

It’s evening.

One far-off day, some inevitable place.

Sam and Dean sit on their porch, drinking lemonade.

 

It’s warm outside.

.

.

.




-----

A/N (cont.): You made it to the end! *hands you a bouquet*

The goal of this story was to physically control the way it reads, done through extremely anal-retentive, strict shackles of words. It looks pretentious with all its odd spacing, parenthesis, and italics, but they're all there to try and shove the reader into this narrow box (car) that keeps going, like its on rails. I did this to try and evoke, through words, the atmosphere of nomadism (the rhythmic pace) and inevitability (the way the whole thing strings together) in Sam and Dean's lives. I want this piece read aloud, I want the reader to hear his/her voice ebb and flow, like highway scenery, start to finish.

Of course, I also don't want this story to sound as pretentious as it is, so let's just dub this as PRETTY-SOUNDING!POEM and leave it at that, yeah?  xoxo
Page 1 of 2 << [1] [2] >>

Date: 2008-05-01 11:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leviticus-lied.livejournal.com
You. You are. SO AWESOME. It worked. It should have read all stilted and odd, but it flowed from one catch to another, logical, of course it flows that way, and it. It.

God. I'm going to read this over and over again until I memorize it, and whisper it to myself when I go to sleep.

Date: 2008-05-02 04:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
You read it! And liked!! *does a jig* Thanks so much for indulging me, hahaha. I'm really glad it worked for you.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] leviticus-lied.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-05-06 04:54 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-05-06 07:37 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] leviticus-lied.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-05-06 04:57 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-05-02 04:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tj-smartz.livejournal.com
Oh wow. MORE!!! I am grinning from ear to ear. I love how well this fits in the structure of the poem, at times poignant then hot, at times fast then slow. Oh enough from me. I just loved it.

Date: 2008-05-02 05:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
YAY, thanks for stopping by and letting me know you liked it!! \o/

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] tj-smartz.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-05-02 07:13 am (UTC) - Expand
(deleted comment)

Date: 2008-05-02 04:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
You read it aloud!! *hugs you* Thanks for participating in my little writing experiement, hahaha. I'm glad it worked for you <3

Date: 2008-05-02 12:57 pm (UTC)
tabaqui: (s&dwaterbylt-sp)
From: [personal profile] tabaqui
Oh, very cool. I like how one word will end a sentence and begin another, switching ideas mid-flight, as it were. Very neat, very good stuff.
:)

Date: 2008-05-02 04:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
Yaaay thank you so much for indulging me in this little writing exercise XD I'm so glad it didn't completely fall flat!

Date: 2008-05-03 02:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] runedgirl.livejournal.com
That was beautiful, I found myself almost having to *move* while reading it, following its twists and turns and rhythms as it dragged emotions with it. Awesome to read something creative different and still so Sam and Dean. :)
Lynsey

Date: 2008-05-03 04:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
Whee, thanks for indulging me in this little writing experiment XD I'm so glad it worked out for you. xoxo

Date: 2008-05-03 04:14 am (UTC)
ext_57421: (Default)
From: [identity profile] stangerine88.livejournal.com
Oh, this was lovely. Like you said, "you shoved in the reader in a narrow box (car) that keeps going"..... then you brought in the idea of the reader's voice edding and flowing like highway scenery so I went back and read it- with that in mind and for some reader the impala and Sam and Dean driving for miles just stuck there in my head. Talk about connecting everything together on a string.

Meming this!

Date: 2008-05-03 04:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
Yay, I can't express how happy I am that all the froofy stuff worked for you!! *hugs* Thanks so much for reading, babe.

Date: 2008-05-03 06:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] subtly-modded.livejournal.com
Damn. I think this is a complete success. The layout and forced reading pauses work very well. I loved the rhythm. Loved it. And the bit about Sam being the fire* and Dean the light - awesome.

*I see what you did there with the hell and the fire and the Sam. Nicely done.

Date: 2008-05-04 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
The layout and forced reading pauses work very well.

THANK YOU for saying so! That was the point of this whole writing exercise and to know that it succeeded, for even just a few people, totally makes my day.

*hearts you*

Date: 2008-05-03 04:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stare-at-walls.livejournal.com
OMG I LOVE YOU AND THIS!!

Supernatural AND poetry: 2 of my most facortie things in the world.

All right, first: the rhythmic pace and musicality of the whole thing was awesome. Tapestry is the right word for this, we see the "Wincest" (I only hope it becomes Canon), the anguish, etc, etc, but take one line out, and the whole thing becomes confusing--which is a good thing.

Also, I like how you used the format to force the reader to hover on the lines, to stay on the words and process them at a slower pace.

AWESOME AWESOME JOB. Memoried, yes.

Date: 2008-05-04 02:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
Also, I like how you used the format to force the reader to hover on the lines, to stay on the words and process them at a slower pace.

That's EXACTLY what I was doing with the formatting :D Just trying to get people to pause when I wanted them to think a little bit harder on the words. I feel like, like a dominatrix or something, with a literary whip. Lol.

Thanks for stopping by! I'm so glad you liked it :D

Date: 2008-05-03 11:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sirryluv.livejournal.com
Oh, yes, this works and I admit I am usually skeptical of this format but, damn, you worked it.

There's so much I love! The imagery, the way the sentences flow into each other, so even though they're two separate thoughts they're also one. I loved the whole section that starts with "The color of rose," and I love that you managed to capture actual characterizations of all three Winchesters, which I think is very impressive with this style. There was so much that I could feel -- there was a heat to this that was gorgeous. With fics in this type of style, the tone is usually very cold, and very flat (with beautiful words) but this...pulses with life and heat, and is still beautiful.

It'd be really cool to see a sort of commentary for this, if you'd be interested in doing one. Not because it's not clear (it really is!) but because it's obvious you put a lot of time into making your stylistic choices, and it'd be interesting to see that.

Hah, okay now that I've left you with this very rambly comment: I love this, I love your writing, and you really...achieved something with this.

Date: 2008-05-04 02:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
Oh honey buns, your feedback makes me positively GIDDY.

I am usually skeptical of this format
I know people are, and I am too, which is why I'm extra happy you indulged me on this XD

"The color of rose,"
Thanks for pointing out which section you liked! I'm so curious as to peoples specific reactions to the words, but I think you're the first to actually tell me which lines worked for you.

pulses with life and heat,
Oh good, I was totally trying to convey that through the structure of the poem, making it rhythmic to simulate life and how it flows.

It'd be really cool to see a sort of commentary for this,
I'd LOVE to do one, but honestly, I don't foresee anybody bothering to read it and while I might do a lot of writing for myself (like this fic, haha), I don't really want to pour my heart and soul into an analytic commentary, opening up all these issues for meta discussion, and have hardly anyone come play with me. It's like shouting into the void, you know D:

Thank you sooo much for your feedback *hearts you madly*

Date: 2008-05-04 01:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kissedteardrops.livejournal.com
Wow.

So, that was pretty much amazing. I love the format, and how it just flows.

Date: 2008-05-04 02:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
Thank you so much for reading! xoxo

Date: 2008-05-05 10:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] girlguidejones.livejournal.com
Very intriguing! I read it silently first, and then left the tab open and came back in a couple days and read it aloud. I definitely enjoyed the "aloud" reading most! Unique and original- thank you!

Date: 2008-05-06 07:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
Aww, your feedback makes me feel all goopy inside. I'm really glad reading aloud made it better, because that was a huge part of the exercise! Thanks for stopping by <3

Date: 2008-05-08 12:40 pm (UTC)
ext_7850: by ev_vy (temptation)
From: [identity profile] giandujakiss.livejournal.com
This is really stunning. Thank you.

Date: 2008-05-09 02:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
Thanks for playing in my sandbox XD

Date: 2008-05-08 02:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rejeneration.livejournal.com
Hon, this is absolutely _beautiful_ =) I've been trying to read this for days and just haven't had the chance. Man, so much poetry for two brothers, two lover. <3

Date: 2008-05-09 02:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
Aww you dropped by! I'm absolutely giddy that this whole writing experiment actually worked for some people XD Thanks for reading~ xoxo

Date: 2008-05-08 03:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asher-k.livejournal.com
Holy crap.

That was so cool. I'm definitely glad I read it aloud (even if I felt a little stupid for the first line or two). Not sure what exactly I was expecting, given all the build-up about pretentiousness and poetry, but it was really...exceeding expectations.

I'm gonna stop now before I completely wreck my credibility.

Date: 2008-05-09 03:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
That was so cool.
YAY that's exactly what I wanted peoples reactions to be. It didn't have to be like, earth-shattering or anything but I just wanted readers to come play around in my sandbox and maybe have some fun with the literary experimentation :D Thank you so much for reading!!

Date: 2008-05-08 03:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loony-moony.livejournal.com
Yes, I totally agree that this is not a fic. It's, uh, fanpoetry? I've seen it done before. I LOVE IT when it's done so well, as in this case, because sometimes less words are better than more, and the rhyming, rhythmic pace and spacing all worked to enhance this. Really, truly loved. :)))

Date: 2008-05-09 03:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
Thank you so much for saying so!! I'm just glad this writing experiment didn't like, fall flat on its face. *hearts you*

Date: 2008-05-08 08:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gottalovev.livejournal.com
wow, I am amazed. I don't know much (or been in contact much either, I am a science girl) about poetry so pieces like this are hard for me to grasp. On top, English is not my first language, so it's like a double challenge.

I read it (silently) this morning and was quite intrigued. I left it opened and came back to read it out loud just now. it's thrilling, staggering even. And I am sure every time I'll read it again I'll discover a new favorite line. awesome work :)

Date: 2008-05-09 03:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
I'm so glad the reading-aloud thing worked XD Thanks for stopping by and giving this story/poem a go!

Date: 2008-05-09 07:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spankulert.livejournal.com
ooo this was great! I loved the stacotto rhythm of it. Didn't read it aloud, but I heard is as such in my head so ;) I'd quote some favorite lines, but probably wind up serving half your piece back to you.

*memmed*

(this should def be podcast btw)

Date: 2008-05-10 04:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
I got mem-ed!! *clappy*

I don't even know what a podcast is, exactly D: I'm so behind the times, lol.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] spankulert.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-05-10 07:04 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-05-09 08:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] essenceofmeanin.livejournal.com
it read like beat poetry man, just awesome.

*applauds*

Date: 2008-05-10 04:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you liked it! Thanks for reading~

Date: 2008-10-03 07:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] not-yourstar.livejournal.com
Wow. I'm speachless. That was absoultely gorgeous. So beautifully written and unique. I read it out loud once, then had to go back and read again. :)

Date: 2008-10-08 09:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
Aww, thank you! I totally appreciate you taking the time to go through this thing slowly, and I'm glad it worked out for you. xoxo

Date: 2008-10-03 11:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lissa-ann.livejournal.com
Wow! How utterly unique! I haven't ever seen anything like this in fandom!

Very intriguing story, both in form and in content. Nicely done!

Date: 2008-10-08 09:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
Hee, thank you! It's always nice to hear something you've done is original XD Glad you liked.

Date: 2008-10-04 01:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] faithette.livejournal.com
This is absolutely fabulous!

I read it aloud, and it's dramatic and beautiful and just flows!

I'm printing it off to carry with me so I can read it until I memorize it!

Thank you so much for creating this and sharing it!

Date: 2008-10-08 09:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
Hahaha, you're printing it?? Now I'm all blushy :0

here via spnroundtable

Date: 2008-10-05 12:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] happywriter06.livejournal.com
Absolutely gorgeous!

Re: here via spnroundtable

Date: 2008-10-08 09:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
Thanks for letting me know where this random flux of comments came from, haha. I'm really glad you liked this weird little piece! \o/

Date: 2008-11-09 02:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kilynn16.livejournal.com
Oh. My. Goodness. This has been languishing in my 'unread fic' mems folder for months and I'm so SAD that I didn't read it until just now!

I have NEVER seen anything like this and I LOVE it so much!!

It's...it's...I have NO WORDS. Reading it aloud felt just like those old rhymes we all knew as children...the way it ebbs and flows into and over and around itself. The way the words don't feel that they were written, but rather that they simply exist of their own volition. I am in awe.

I want to print this out and tack it up where I can see it everyday. I want to copy it over and over into a notebook; it's so AMAZING!

♥ ♥ ♥

Date: 2008-11-09 05:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
N'aww, I'm so happy you liked it hon! And that you commented, haha. Usually when I bookmark things and read them after the fact, I'm too lazy to leave feedback even though I know I should. So yes, thanks very much. xoxo

Date: 2009-01-02 09:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aubergineautumn.livejournal.com
Best poem I've read in ANY fandom.

Date: 2009-01-02 10:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
*blushy* Thanks, hon. I have such a soft spot for this fic.

Date: 2009-02-20 05:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] solar-cat.livejournal.com
WHOA. I totally get why this is your favorite!! I read it aloud, and it's stunning, bb! =D

*is glad she asked that question*

Date: 2009-03-02 01:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com
N'awww...I'm touched that you like this *__*
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