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aeroport_artLast day of vacation! It's probably just as well--my carpal tunnel is back in full force from all this fic-writing. On the downside, I has just gotten majorly sick so meh =_= talk about shitty timing.
I hope everyone passed a lovely New Year's holiday and made it through to the other side!! I'm crawling into 2011; spent all of Saturday bed-ridden nursing a hangover and all of today at home, nursing this cold. Hopefully things will pick up in a week or two.
Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
After that, Nate begins seeing Roth on near-daily basis. It’s all part of the plan—exceeding the plan, in fact—but he can’t help feeling guilty every time he comes home after a day of sailing or day-tripping to the outer neighborhoods. It isn’t easy to listen to Ray and Walt describe their latest forays into grungy opium dens when Nate’s just come from a cocktail lounge, the residual smokiness of fine whisky still on his palate.
At the very least, Nate contents himself with the fact that he’s making progress. Not two weeks into their acquaintance, Roth invites Nate to his home in Pacific Heights.
One of the most expensive neighborhoods in the city, Pacific Heights is second only to Nob Hill in status and reputation. The houses there are mansions, really; multi-storied beasts with commanding facades and panoramic views of the bay. The invitation, however, comes casually.
“I’d love for you to join me tomorrow night, if you can,” Roth says during a round of drinks, one late afternoon.
“Grand Dame again?” Nate asks hopefully, plucking out the Maraschino cherry from his Manhattan. The layout of Grand Dame’s is such that Gunny can tag along, remaining out of sight at one of the bar’s many corners or side rooms. They’ve been having trouble keeping tabs on each other lately, as Roth’s chosen locations have turned increasingly private.
Roth reclines in his seat and props an ankle on his leg, jiggling his foot. He’s uneasy about something. “No, not this time,” Roth says, pausing to sip his Kir Royale before answering, “I’ll be hosting a get-together, actually. At my house.”
A-ha.
Nate pops the cherry into his mouth to hide a victorious smile. This is exactly the kind of opportunity he’d been seeking all week; despite Roth’s brush-offs every time Nate inquired after anything deemed too personal, the man has finally broken.
Nate’s going to see the inside of Roth’s house and from there—the real work begins.
Nate pulls the stem off, munching cheerily on the fruit before catching sight of Roth’s expression. Brows drawn together, Roth watches Nate’s mouth with barely concealed interest.
Shit, Nate thinks, wiping his mouth with a napkin. He hadn’t even considered the implications of the offer. Roth’s been nothing but a perfect gentleman since their initial meeting at the yacht club. While the constant companionship is notable between any two adult males, the extent of their relationship thus far has drawn the line at lingering touches and coy looks.
“I’d love to come,” Nate says carefully, keeping his countenance glad but free of anything that could be construed as sexual interest.
This is a wake-up call, though. Without the reliable buffer of an all-seeing public to ward off Roth’s advances, it’ll be a different story once they’re behind closed doors. Nate knew this time would come—the time when he would have to decide just how far he was willing to let things progress with Roth.
“Splendid,” Roth says, his forced posture noticeably relaxing. He switches his legs, crossing the left over the right. “I’ll have a carriage come by around six.”
Nate pauses, drink frozen halfway to his mouth. He sets it down instead. “How about I go over earlier?” Nate suggests, stifling alarm at the thought of Roth coming by the Embarcadero. “I have some errands to run at the marina tomorrow morning,” he quickly facricates. “It’ll be easier for me to drop by Pacific Heights than to go home, first.”
Roth regards him with cool, unreadable eyes. In a strange trick of light, Nate sees Brad in them before Roth blinks the illusion away, dark lashes sweeping down and up. “And how do you propose we pass the time?” Roth asks with a bold quirk of his eyebrow. “I’ll hardly be cooking or cleaning. We could be very bored, you know.”
Nate tries to school his face into amusement, but he probably looks terrified as Roth quickly leans in, saying concernedly, “I’m pulling your leg, Nathaniel. Come by whenever you like.”
Not his smoothest moment, but at least Nate’s bought himself some time to sort out the issue of his residency in case it comes up again. The last thing Nate wants is Roth coming by the Embarcadero and discovering him rooming with a Marshal, with another two just next door.
“All right,” Nate says, downing his Manhattan, the wet ice clinking forward before he uprights it and sets the empty glass back on the table. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “I’ll need directions to your place.”
-----
The sun goes down, darkness settling around them like a cloak. Only the distant eyes of ships and lighthouses dot the sea of black, the occasional candlelit window blinking like the twinkling stars above them.
“Justice, Integrity, Service,” Gunny recites. It’s the motto of the USMS. “I don’t hear ‘celibacy’, do you?”
Nate throws a pebble off the roof of the Embarcadero, watching it get swallowed up by the night. Their team meeting just wrapped up downstairs and now Nate and Gunny are relaxing on the slightly sloped, shingled roof of the hotel.
“You think sleeping with another man to extract information counts as ‘integrity’?” Nate asks doubtfully.
“I think it counts as no one’s damned business but your own,” Gunny shrugs, chewing on his toothpick. “Getting the job done, aren’t you?”
“How very Texan of you,” Nate smirks. He wishes he had Gunny’s self-assuredness though. His partner always seems so at peace with the things they do—with what the Service requires of them. Not for the first time, Nate wonders if he’s cut out for this type of work.
He scrounges around, grasping for another loose pebble. Finds some weeds instead. Nate rips them out with a satisfying sound, tossing the stems away as he says, “You really don’t have a problem with it?”
Gunny slants a look at him, making Nate realize the broadness of his question. He could be talking about Roth—he could be talking about himself. Nate opens his mouth to clarify when Gunny cuts in.
“No, Nate. I don’t have a problem with any of it.”
Nate pulls his knees up, resting his chin on his arms. He doesn’t deserve Gunny’s conviction. How can someone be so sure of Nate’s choices, so forgiving of his weaknesses when Nate can’t even come to terms with them himself?
“The look on Ray’s face,” Gunny suddenly laughs, stretching his legs out with the scrape of boots on wood. “When you said we’d be missing tomorrow’s meeting? That kid’s a pain in the ass, but Lord if he ain’t more entertainment than a vaudeville show.”
“ ‘If the Marshals are playing hooky to drink champagne and give each other blowjobs, can’t we do the same, Brad?’ “ Nate repeats, chuckling as he remembers Ray’s petulance, Walt dropping his head in his hands in embarrassment.
Nate trails off, however, when he remembers the look on Brad’s face. No, Ray, he’d said darkly. We are not giving each other blowjobs.
Ray clammed up right after that—evidence Brad was serious, since Ray only ever shut up when in imminent danger of disembowelment.
“Hey,” Gunny says, causing Nate to turn his head. Gunny holds out a closed fist, nodding at Nate to put out his own hand, which he does.
Gunny drops a pebble into it.
Nate looks down. The pebble is speckled and uneven, rough to the touch. Nate curls his fingers over it, then pulls back to fling the rock as far as it’ll go. He strives to hear it land—it’s quiet enough on the street that he could—but nothing echoes forth. It might as well have landed on the moon.
“Don’t go worrying about what other people think,” Gunny finally says, getting up to his feet with small clicks of his knees. “You ain’t ever gonna make everyone happy. That’s just not how it works.”
Nate frowns. He doesn’t say anything, but Gunny continues like he did.
“No one likes a martyr, Nate. Besides—“ Gunny pauses. “The Special Deputy understands that we’re here to complete a mission, personal feelings be damned. He’ll come around.”
Nate lifts his head at those words, needing to see more than just hear what Gunny means. His partner just smiles enigmatically though, throwing his toothpick out onto the street before he makes his way to the rickety ladder at the back of the building.
Nate stays out for little while longer, but when it becomes evident he’s getting maudlin Nate returns to his room.
Brad’s inside, asleep already. Long arms curled around a pillow, Brad’s face is going to suffer creases in the morning.
Nate smiles at the thought of it, at the way Brad gets grumpy about the red marks on his face when he looks in the mirror to shave. Something to look forward to, at any rate.
Nate gets under the covers and lies flat on his back, hands clasped over his belly. He falls asleep to the sound of Brad’s soft snores and dreams about nothing.
I hope everyone passed a lovely New Year's holiday and made it through to the other side!! I'm crawling into 2011; spent all of Saturday bed-ridden nursing a hangover and all of today at home, nursing this cold. Hopefully things will pick up in a week or two.
Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
After that, Nate begins seeing Roth on near-daily basis. It’s all part of the plan—exceeding the plan, in fact—but he can’t help feeling guilty every time he comes home after a day of sailing or day-tripping to the outer neighborhoods. It isn’t easy to listen to Ray and Walt describe their latest forays into grungy opium dens when Nate’s just come from a cocktail lounge, the residual smokiness of fine whisky still on his palate.
At the very least, Nate contents himself with the fact that he’s making progress. Not two weeks into their acquaintance, Roth invites Nate to his home in Pacific Heights.
One of the most expensive neighborhoods in the city, Pacific Heights is second only to Nob Hill in status and reputation. The houses there are mansions, really; multi-storied beasts with commanding facades and panoramic views of the bay. The invitation, however, comes casually.
“I’d love for you to join me tomorrow night, if you can,” Roth says during a round of drinks, one late afternoon.
“Grand Dame again?” Nate asks hopefully, plucking out the Maraschino cherry from his Manhattan. The layout of Grand Dame’s is such that Gunny can tag along, remaining out of sight at one of the bar’s many corners or side rooms. They’ve been having trouble keeping tabs on each other lately, as Roth’s chosen locations have turned increasingly private.
Roth reclines in his seat and props an ankle on his leg, jiggling his foot. He’s uneasy about something. “No, not this time,” Roth says, pausing to sip his Kir Royale before answering, “I’ll be hosting a get-together, actually. At my house.”
A-ha.
Nate pops the cherry into his mouth to hide a victorious smile. This is exactly the kind of opportunity he’d been seeking all week; despite Roth’s brush-offs every time Nate inquired after anything deemed too personal, the man has finally broken.
Nate’s going to see the inside of Roth’s house and from there—the real work begins.
Nate pulls the stem off, munching cheerily on the fruit before catching sight of Roth’s expression. Brows drawn together, Roth watches Nate’s mouth with barely concealed interest.
Shit, Nate thinks, wiping his mouth with a napkin. He hadn’t even considered the implications of the offer. Roth’s been nothing but a perfect gentleman since their initial meeting at the yacht club. While the constant companionship is notable between any two adult males, the extent of their relationship thus far has drawn the line at lingering touches and coy looks.
“I’d love to come,” Nate says carefully, keeping his countenance glad but free of anything that could be construed as sexual interest.
This is a wake-up call, though. Without the reliable buffer of an all-seeing public to ward off Roth’s advances, it’ll be a different story once they’re behind closed doors. Nate knew this time would come—the time when he would have to decide just how far he was willing to let things progress with Roth.
“Splendid,” Roth says, his forced posture noticeably relaxing. He switches his legs, crossing the left over the right. “I’ll have a carriage come by around six.”
Nate pauses, drink frozen halfway to his mouth. He sets it down instead. “How about I go over earlier?” Nate suggests, stifling alarm at the thought of Roth coming by the Embarcadero. “I have some errands to run at the marina tomorrow morning,” he quickly facricates. “It’ll be easier for me to drop by Pacific Heights than to go home, first.”
Roth regards him with cool, unreadable eyes. In a strange trick of light, Nate sees Brad in them before Roth blinks the illusion away, dark lashes sweeping down and up. “And how do you propose we pass the time?” Roth asks with a bold quirk of his eyebrow. “I’ll hardly be cooking or cleaning. We could be very bored, you know.”
Nate tries to school his face into amusement, but he probably looks terrified as Roth quickly leans in, saying concernedly, “I’m pulling your leg, Nathaniel. Come by whenever you like.”
Not his smoothest moment, but at least Nate’s bought himself some time to sort out the issue of his residency in case it comes up again. The last thing Nate wants is Roth coming by the Embarcadero and discovering him rooming with a Marshal, with another two just next door.
“All right,” Nate says, downing his Manhattan, the wet ice clinking forward before he uprights it and sets the empty glass back on the table. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “I’ll need directions to your place.”
-----
The sun goes down, darkness settling around them like a cloak. Only the distant eyes of ships and lighthouses dot the sea of black, the occasional candlelit window blinking like the twinkling stars above them.
“Justice, Integrity, Service,” Gunny recites. It’s the motto of the USMS. “I don’t hear ‘celibacy’, do you?”
Nate throws a pebble off the roof of the Embarcadero, watching it get swallowed up by the night. Their team meeting just wrapped up downstairs and now Nate and Gunny are relaxing on the slightly sloped, shingled roof of the hotel.
“You think sleeping with another man to extract information counts as ‘integrity’?” Nate asks doubtfully.
“I think it counts as no one’s damned business but your own,” Gunny shrugs, chewing on his toothpick. “Getting the job done, aren’t you?”
“How very Texan of you,” Nate smirks. He wishes he had Gunny’s self-assuredness though. His partner always seems so at peace with the things they do—with what the Service requires of them. Not for the first time, Nate wonders if he’s cut out for this type of work.
He scrounges around, grasping for another loose pebble. Finds some weeds instead. Nate rips them out with a satisfying sound, tossing the stems away as he says, “You really don’t have a problem with it?”
Gunny slants a look at him, making Nate realize the broadness of his question. He could be talking about Roth—he could be talking about himself. Nate opens his mouth to clarify when Gunny cuts in.
“No, Nate. I don’t have a problem with any of it.”
Nate pulls his knees up, resting his chin on his arms. He doesn’t deserve Gunny’s conviction. How can someone be so sure of Nate’s choices, so forgiving of his weaknesses when Nate can’t even come to terms with them himself?
“The look on Ray’s face,” Gunny suddenly laughs, stretching his legs out with the scrape of boots on wood. “When you said we’d be missing tomorrow’s meeting? That kid’s a pain in the ass, but Lord if he ain’t more entertainment than a vaudeville show.”
“ ‘If the Marshals are playing hooky to drink champagne and give each other blowjobs, can’t we do the same, Brad?’ “ Nate repeats, chuckling as he remembers Ray’s petulance, Walt dropping his head in his hands in embarrassment.
Nate trails off, however, when he remembers the look on Brad’s face. No, Ray, he’d said darkly. We are not giving each other blowjobs.
Ray clammed up right after that—evidence Brad was serious, since Ray only ever shut up when in imminent danger of disembowelment.
“Hey,” Gunny says, causing Nate to turn his head. Gunny holds out a closed fist, nodding at Nate to put out his own hand, which he does.
Gunny drops a pebble into it.
Nate looks down. The pebble is speckled and uneven, rough to the touch. Nate curls his fingers over it, then pulls back to fling the rock as far as it’ll go. He strives to hear it land—it’s quiet enough on the street that he could—but nothing echoes forth. It might as well have landed on the moon.
“Don’t go worrying about what other people think,” Gunny finally says, getting up to his feet with small clicks of his knees. “You ain’t ever gonna make everyone happy. That’s just not how it works.”
Nate frowns. He doesn’t say anything, but Gunny continues like he did.
“No one likes a martyr, Nate. Besides—“ Gunny pauses. “The Special Deputy understands that we’re here to complete a mission, personal feelings be damned. He’ll come around.”
Nate lifts his head at those words, needing to see more than just hear what Gunny means. His partner just smiles enigmatically though, throwing his toothpick out onto the street before he makes his way to the rickety ladder at the back of the building.
Nate stays out for little while longer, but when it becomes evident he’s getting maudlin Nate returns to his room.
Brad’s inside, asleep already. Long arms curled around a pillow, Brad’s face is going to suffer creases in the morning.
Nate smiles at the thought of it, at the way Brad gets grumpy about the red marks on his face when he looks in the mirror to shave. Something to look forward to, at any rate.
Nate gets under the covers and lies flat on his back, hands clasped over his belly. He falls asleep to the sound of Brad’s soft snores and dreams about nothing.
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no subject
Date: 2011-01-02 09:19 pm (UTC)It's all that UST overspilling into a first available person. I suggest you do something about it before Nate does something silly with Roth for "the sake of getting information out", Brad loses the plot and kills Roth thus fucking up the investigation and ending up in jail! :DD
Sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Hopefully it's not going to last.*hugs*
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Date: 2011-01-02 10:22 pm (UTC)Blech, this cold is tearing up my throat. I hope it doesn't last as well!
no subject
Date: 2011-01-03 12:00 am (UTC)How about a really hot tea with whisky and honey for your throat? It does help!
no subject
Date: 2011-01-03 03:30 am (UTC)Brad must be livid!!
Yep, dear Nate is so preoccupied with his job and is kinda oblivious, delicious!!!
Very wise Gunny, very wise, but still... society is a cruel beast.
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Date: 2011-01-04 12:57 am (UTC)Mine too! In fact, I just made this before settling down to read this comment, haha. It's the only thing that keeps me from hacking up a lung every 20 seconds =_=
Love all the quote-backs, those are my favorite kinds of commenty :D:D:D
Brad must be livid!!
Oh, yes. Poor Brad is getting the short end of the stick so far, isnt he? :(
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Date: 2011-01-03 04:52 am (UTC)Roth reclines in his seat and props an ankle on his leg, jiggling his foot. He’s uneasy about something. “No, not this time,” Roth says, pausing to sip his Kir Royale before answering, “I’ll be hosting a get-together, actually. At my house.”
Brad just tried to choke a bitch AND HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHY. \o/
no subject
Date: 2011-01-04 12:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-03 07:11 am (UTC)I am intrigued by Nate's non-angst over the issue of sleeping with his target. (And don't mistake: LOVE the non-angst.) I wonder if a part of Nate is interested in a tumble with Roth because he knows it'll help put distance between himself and Brad. He must know it would. The man's not an idiot. And Brad's hardly been subtle - even Mike acknowledges that here. So sleeping with Roth - who reminds him of Brad, but isn't Brad - accomplishes so many things: getting information, scratching the itch, keeping Brad at arm's length.
Of course, Roth is a criminal. Suppose that goes on the con side.
Then again, I can't imagine Brad hasn't thought of all this. He knows why Nate is staying away from him and he's also not an idiot. He knows that things are likely to get physical with Roth soon, he knows his own reaction to that, and he knows Nate's a crafty motherfucker. So part of him probably knows he's being played by Nate...or at least, that there's the potential for it.
All I'm saying is it seems about the time that Brad would step in.
Nate pulls the stem off, munching cheerily on the fruit before catching sight of Roth’s expression. Brows drawn together, Roth watches Nate’s mouth with barely concealed interest.
Shit, Nate thinks, wiping his mouth with a napkin. He hadn’t even considered the implications of the offer.
LOVE all of this. It all comes down to Nate's mouth, eh?
“Justice, Integrity, Service,” Gunny recites. It’s the motto of the USMS. “I don’t hear ‘celibacy’, do you?”
AHAHAHA! I love Mike! (Also, that's what Brad's saying! Though, obviously not wrt Roth.)
Ray clammed up right after that—evidence Brad was serious, since Ray only ever shut up when in imminent danger of disembowelment.
That's a great detail and very true to how well they know each other. Also, props to Nate for recognizing that.
“Don’t go worrying about what other people think,” Gunny finally says, getting up to his feet with small clicks of his knees. “You ain’t ever gonna make everyone happy. That’s just not how it works.”
I wondered what Mike was getting at here. Does he think that Brad has a problem with the homosexuality of it all? Meaning, Mike doesn't know that Brad's interested in Nate's bedmates only insofar as Brad should be the only one?
...huh. If that's what this means, I'm surprised. Granted, Nate did just tell him, but I guess a part of me thought that Mike suspected the truth about Nate on some gut-check level and once he did know for sure, he would see right through Brad. This is all entirely tangential, of course, (since this isn't Mike's story), but it seemed like he would've caught on and might be trying to clue Nate in to Brad's interest (perhaps thinking Nate doesn't know).
That might be too complicated, though. Or I'm overthinking this. Or I'm misinterpreting Mike. All very possible.
Nate smiles at the thought of it, at the way Brad gets grumpy about the red marks on his face when he looks in the mirror to shave. Something to look forward to, at any rate.
And then I died at the adorable domesticity of this moment. LOVE!
PS - I am very sorry to hear you are sick and am thinking good thoughts for your speedy recovery. ::pets::
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Date: 2011-01-04 01:20 am (UTC)LOVE the non-angst.
SO helpful to know! My takeaway after posting this part was really the question of whether or not Nate's relative indifference to Roth's come-ons was believable or not. Wouldn't Nate be more averse to hooking up with a criminal? Wouldn't he not want to hurt Brad, and thus stay celibate?
I think Nate can overlook the criminal part of Roth's character because the import and trade of opium isn't necessarily malicious. It's just...shady. After all, the commodity was legal just ten years prior, so in a way I feel like the modern day equivalent would be the import and trade of marijuala--relatively benign, all things considered.
As for all your DELICIOUS insight into Nate's thought process, I think a lot of those arguments in favor of hooking up with Roth outweigh Nate's desire not to "hurt Brad". In a way, Nate's probably playing martyr and thinks that by pushing Brad away, it'll be better for the both of them in the long run.
All I'm saying is it seems about the time that Brad would step in.
Hmmmmm you make a very good point here. I wasn't going to have Brad do anything except some passive-aggressive, loud masturbation in a couple chapters (bad Brad!), but maybe he would approach Nate again. I feel like if I wrote a conversation between Brad and Nate though, it would go much the same way as their last interaction in the bathroom when Nate rejected Brad. I don't know--do you think there's anything new to say here?
LOVE all of this. It all comes down to Nate's mouth, eh?
I feel like I'm always in danger of beating this cliche to death, BUT NATE'S MOUTH REALLY IS JUST THAT SLUTTY. Can't help it =_= NONE OF US CAN!!
“Don’t go worrying about what other people think,” Gunny finally says, getting up to his feet with small clicks of his knees. “You ain’t ever gonna make everyone happy. That’s just not how it works.”
I was trying to have Gunny tell Nate that he didn't need to worry so much about sleeping with Roth if Nate wanted to. By "other people" Gunny was referring to society in general. Does that make more sense, character-wise? I'll tighten up the language upon second draft.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-04 07:41 am (UTC)Um, this one got rilly, rilly long, though. ::is ashamed::
My takeaway after posting this part was really the question of whether or not Nate's relative indifference to Roth's come-ons was believable or not. Wouldn't Nate be more averse to hooking up with a criminal? Wouldn't he not want to hurt Brad, and thus stay celibate?
Right, those are the questions. What I find so wonderfully provocative - even if Nate simply contemplates what we're talking about - is that Nate is thinking about doing something he knows Brad will take badly and he's doing it in order to protect himself and his career. And he'll enjoy it. That's just...that's not a Nate you see very often. But you've set it up here, so you can go that route believably. If you want to.
And btw, I don't buy too deeply that Nate sleeping around 'hurts' Brad, but I do think Nate would understand the kind of visceral rejection that it represents. 'No, I won't sleep with you, even though no one would know. I'm going to sleep with this here shady criminal dude, who reminds me of you. How do you like that?' And Nate certainly understands wounded pride...and we all know Brad is very proud.
You're absolutely right that Nate may think it's necessary for the long-term, doing both of them some good, etc. But I don't think he's ignorant or uncaring of Brad's emotions. (Though he may well underestimate the depth of Brad's emotions, which would be interesting.)
I wasn't going to have Brad do anything except some passive-aggressive, loud masturbation in a couple chapters (bad Brad!),
MEAN! (But as an aside, if you still want to play these moments, and Nate does go ahead and fuck Roth, one way for Brad to show that it isn't pushing him away is to, well, basically get off on what Nate's doing.)
I feel like if I wrote a conversation between Brad and Nate though, it would go much the same way as their last interaction in the bathroom when Nate rejected Brad. I don't know--do you think there's anything new to say here?
Oh, I think there's stuff to say. Because it's not the same conversation - why can't we fuck? - it's Brad being smart and knowing what Nate's thinking a little too well and saying, 'you can do this thing I don't want you to, but it's not going to change anything. If you think this'll push me out of your space? Think again. I'm so far inside you, we're already fucking every way but physically.'
In part it's a manipulation of Brad's, of course. If he can take away one of the benefits - the part where it keeps Brad distant - then maybe Nate will be less likely to hook up with Roth. Nate is fully aware of this line of thought, too.
(As an aside, the mindfucks going on in here are EPIC. They have layers, baybee.)
So in my little scenario, Nate then calls Brad on it and fucks Roth anyway. And then I need my fainting couch.
Or, ya know, not. Whatever you decide. I can see arguments for both options...which is what makes it so cool!
no subject
Date: 2011-01-04 07:42 am (UTC)Brad might also put in a rational argument about a dalliance with Roth still harming his career. I know Nate only needs information from Roth, but on the outside chance that they take her alive, put her on trial, whatever, people are going to want to know where he got that info. Which means people are going to ask questions, at the very least of Roth's posse at the club. And the answer to those questions will be, 'oh, it was that twink with the pretty mouth that Roth was fucking.' Which, hi, maybe not good for the career.
Granted, very outside chance, but does Nate really want to open himself up to that risk? And if he does, why the fuck not with Brad? (Okay, Brad probably wouldn't go that far - bit too close to home, methinks - but it'd be implied.)
Because turning it around and looking at it from Brad's side, this has got to be a hit to his pride. Boy has self-esteem issues, then here's Nate, with whom he shares amazing chemistry and has already had fabulous sex, but who keeps pushing him away. That leads to the question, is it something about Brad? (Despite the career objections, etc. You can't help that niggling doubt, even with other valid reasons.)
I think it would be AWESOME to then slip in something about Roth reminding Nate of Brad. You already did that once - and LOVE - but I think Brad should hear about it this time and let him be conflicted about that.
Um, but I may be thinking too much about your story.
NATE'S MOUTH REALLY IS JUST THAT SLUTTY.
AGREED! This is not a bad thing!
I was trying to have Gunny tell Nate that he didn't need to worry so much about sleeping with Roth if Nate wanted to. By "other people" Gunny was referring to society in general. Does that make more sense, character-wise?
Ohhhh. Yes, all is clear now. Also, I like that as a character beat for Mike. It's very...him.
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Date: 2011-01-04 04:13 pm (UTC)'you can do this thing I don't want you to, but it's not going to change anything. If you think this'll push me out of your space? Think again. I'm so far inside you, we're already fucking every way but physically.'
I JUST MAY LIFT THIS LETTER FOR LETTER BECAUSE IT'S SO THRILLING. I got chills. Seriously.
but I may be thinking too much about your story.
You're not at all!! This is all SO, SO HELPFUL. Especially since I'm getting this kind of probing feedback whilst writing the story, so hopefully I won't have to restructure so much once it's finished like I did for Part I. God, that was painful =_= It's so much harder to ask these questions after the fact, then try and go back in to rewrite scenes.
the mindfucks going on in here are EPIC
No kidding! My brain hurts. There are so many ways to play this now. I think I'm just gonna open up the ol' doc and see where their conversation takes me :) THANKS AGAIN, ALLIE
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Date: 2011-01-05 08:07 am (UTC)But I am glad my wandering thoughts can maybe provide some help during the process. It makes me ridiculously happy to see these installments, I can't even tell you.
Thank YOU for writing such a thought-provoking story!
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Date: 2011-01-03 12:24 pm (UTC)And then: Nate pulls the stem off, munching cheerily on the fruit before catching sight of Roth’s expression. Brows drawn together, Roth watches Nate’s mouth with barely concealed interest. I doubt my interest would be well concealed either if I were in Roth's position. Cherry. Nate. Mouth. How is it that I'm even coherent at this point?
I lie. One intelligent comment: His partner always seems so at peace with the things they do—with what the Service requires of them. Not for the first time, Nate wonders if he’s cut out for this type of work. I love that you've effectively got the essence of Gen Kill Nate in two sentences into an AU. You're cool.
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Date: 2011-01-04 01:25 am (UTC)HAHAHAHAH Oh lord, this fandom has such a KINK with Nate's mouth. WE CAN'T HELP IT, ITS JUST TOO LUSH AND YUMMY NOT TO DEFILE
you've effectively got the essence of Gen Kill Nate in two sentences
Aww, I'm glad that line worked for you and wasn't too heavy-handed. I try and make sure I stay close to everyone's original characterizations, because otherwise in an AU, what's the difference between plugging in random names and having it be an entirely new story altogether?
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Date: 2011-01-06 12:17 am (UTC)I'm loving Nate's guilt, especially combined with the feeling that he's actually enjoying a lot of what he's doing. Which, of course, would just make the guilt worse!
And I love the little touch at the end, the way it shows how well Nate's got to know Brad, that he's familiar with all his little quirks, things hardly anyone else would know.
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Date: 2011-01-06 01:26 am (UTC)the way it shows how well Nate's got to know Brad
I keep trying to find places to stick in these details. They've been living together for weeks now, I need more Nate&Brad scenes! Which is kind of what the next chapter is...:)
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Date: 2011-01-07 11:36 pm (UTC)Hope you're starting to feel a bit better! Or ideally tons better!